Behind These Onyx Eyes
by Peridot Tears
Summary: A Kakashi fic about the day Sakumo died. It's got the song Behind These Hazel Eyes in it. Please read and review! ONESHOT


_**PT: This is a oneshot about Kakashi! Basically, it's just a short songfic on his relationship with his father. It has Kakashi as a child and the night Sakumo died. Well, in this story, he died at night. The song is Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson. So, here's the story! Enjoy!**_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It was created when I was in Pre-K!_

_The song will never be mine as I don't like other people hearing me sing._

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Kakashi stood in front of the memorial of Konoha, looking at four particular names on it:

**Hatake Sakumo**

**Uchiha Obito**

**Shin Rin**

**Namikaze Minato**

He closed his only black eye, remembering these four people, so precious to him…and yet they left him, alone in the world. His head conjured up Rin's smiling face, so full of care as she looked over his wound. Obito's determined face, a grin on it, showing all his teeth as he accomplished the Great Fireball Jutsu. His sensei, Minato, with his idiotic grin as he scratched the back of his neck. Sakumo, his father, with his grinning face, proudly praising Kakashi for becoming a Chuunin.

Kakashi remembered all those times before he graduated from the academy. He clung to his father as Sakumo walked him to school for the first time. He remembered clinging to Sakumo's pants once when he stood up. Sakumo had to go on a mission and Kakashi had begged him not to leave him alone again. He had no friends at the academy for some reason and his mother was already dead. Sakumo had messed up his hair affectionately and told him that this time, he swore he'll come back soon, in time to see him become genin.

_He kept the promise._ Kakashi thought now as he recalled how Sakumo had come home in the morning on the day of the graduation exam at the academy. Sakumo had showed up just before Kakashi had gone inside. Kakashi would always remember how his father smiled at him, telling him 'good luck'.

Kakashi opened his eye. Yet it had to happen. Sakumo was disgraced and died. He remembered the day he left him. It was just so painful, but he thought of it again, the events sharp and clear as if it had happened yesterday.

Flashback

Kakashi walked home from a mission, head hung low as he felt the villagers' stares. He felt so ashamed. Why did his father have to be disgraced? Just his, of all people. He was deeply ashamed to be related to the White Fang, to look exactly like him.

He walked on, trying to ignore the stares, trying not to hear what the villagers were saying.

"Hey! That's the White Fang's son!"

"I bet he's ashamed. The White Fang's putting his disgrace on the shoulders of his own son. Tsk, tsk."

"Sakumo was a complete fool and was selfish in saving his friends first. Imagine what kind of shinobi his son would make. I won't expect much from him."

Kakashi hung his head even lower. He used to be so proud of his father. Now…

_**Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong  
Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on**_

Kakashi walked faster, almost jogging, to get home. He needed to talk to Sakumo. Maybe, if he got some more support, he'll be great again, the White Fang, a hero, not a disgrace.

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi spun around, bristling, ready to spit a reply. It must be one of those villagers, coming over to him to insult his father. Boy was he in for a surprise.

"Rin?"

Rin stood in front of him, panting hard. She was on his team, Team Minato. She was a really pretty girl, with her bright eyes and brownish-red hair. She held Kakashi's gaze steadily, unflinching.

"Happy birthday," she said simply, handing him a small box.

Kakashi took it, looking at her in confusion, then remembered. It was his ninth birthday.

He shot her a smile. "Thanks!" he said.

"No problem."

Rin smiled at him, then turned.

"See you around!" she called over her shoulder as she headed towards Ichiraku Ramen, where Obito could be seen waiting for her, looking at her impatiently.

Kakashi grinned.

"Bye!"

He looked at the sky. It was getting dark. He'd better be home soon.

Kakashi started walking home, his pace quickening every step he took. Then, impatient, he broke into a run, sprinting along the familiar path home.

Later

Kakashi burst through the door.

"Father!" he yelled.

Silence.

Kakashi closed the door behind him, confused. The silence was really getting to him. Sakumo should be home by now.

Cautiously, he headed for the living room. He could usually find Sakumo there, waiting for him after school or reading. He could be just sharpening his weapons, really.

He walked in, eyes watchful and alert. Then, he saw it. He wished he wasn't there to see it the moment he laid eyes upon it, but it was done. His eyes saw the sight that would stay in his mind forever.

Sakumo lay dying on the floor, his kunai to his stomach, blood everywhere. Kakashi stood, horrified, eyes glued to what he was seeing. He felt the bile rise up in the back of his throat as he remained rooted to the spot.

His father, the only one he had, dead. Then, he saw his sides heaving. He was alive! Breathing and alive!

Kakashi yanked his feet from the floor and started toward the White Fang.

"Father!"

Sakumo's eyes snapped open. His glazed eyes stared at Kakashi for a moment. Then a smile crept up to his face.

"Happy birthday Kakashi-chan," he said kindly.

Kakashi knelt down next to him, trying not to notice the blood and gore around him.

"What did you do?" he whispered, holding back tears.

Sakumo smiled at him fondly. "Seppuku," he said calmly, as if he was just talking about the weather.

Kakashi stared at Sakumo, his black eyes staring at the only other eyes in the world that were the exact same as his.

"Don't go," his voice was so desperate, pleading as he grabbed Sakumo's vest and clung to it, as if that would keep him there, right next to him.

"Too late. Happy birthday, Kakashi. The White Light Saber is yours now," the dark eyes started to close.

"No!" Kakashi shrieked, still clinging to the vest. Sakumo's free hand lifted and landed on Kakashi's shoulder. Then it dropped with a thump.

Kakashi stood up, desperately searching his father's face for any sign of life, hoping.

This had to be a dream. Tears spilled out on Kakashi's face, dripping on the floor, stained with blood.

_**Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these onyx eyes**_

Back to The Present

Kakashi reflected sorrowfully on the loss of the only family he had. That was the day his life had changed. When all hell broke loose. That had led to the shaping of the rest of his life. He always isolated himself from others, keeping a cool, cheery shell.

_**I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on **_

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these onyx eyes

He had always hated Sakumo for leaving him. He loved him, but for a long time, he only felt bitterness. The image of Sakumo's lifeless form in his mind was too mush. It killed him. If only he had gotten home earlier and talked to Sakumo. Then perhaps, he wouldn't have lost him and Obito.

_**Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore... **_

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these onyx eyes

Kakashi's eye widened. He was going to be late! His team was meeting him today at the training ground!

Turning around, he rushed off, not looking back.

Training Ground

"YOU'RE LATE!!!!!!" Naruto and Sakura screamed.

"Sorry," Kakashi said, "I just lost myself on memory lane and wondered about the Big Bang-"

"LAME EXCUSE! STOP LYING!!!!!!!"

Sweat drops slid off behind Kakashi.

"Anyway, we're going to use chakra to aim kunai knives today…" he began.

_**Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these onyx eyes…  
**_

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_**PT: Hope this was good. If you noticed, I changed 'hazel eyes' to 'onyx eyes'. Anyway, please review!**_


End file.
